Driving in India - I am the King Of the Road
Had I been writing this blog a year back, it would have been very different. It would have been a mad,scary, frustrated and angry blog. After a year plus of acclimatization to Indian roads, vehicles, people, attitude and of course the law of the land (or lack of), this will be a humorous reading.
Like FB where you only see pretty selfies,nice family pics and profound thoughts and like Yash Chopra movies that makes more enjoyable watching.....this blog will make more enjoyable reading.
So the basic Funda (fundamental....Mumbai lingo plz) is I AM THE KING OF THE ROAD !!!
Whether you are a pedestrian, a two - wheeler rider, four - wheeler, bus/ truck driver or whatever Gen next is coming up with, if this is your mantra, you are good. I mean safe. DO NOT try to be the boring rule abiding, law following civil driver as there are no rules in driving. At least not in India. The only rule is IMTKOTR (see title).
Lets start from the very beginning....... the right way or guidelines in every country to drive are as follows
1. a permissible age to drive.
2. a legit driving license acquired by passing a legit driving test.
3. a book of driving rules to follow.
4. fines for offense committed.
This makes driving a disciplined and managed activity.
In India none of this applies.
1. As long as you do not get caught, you can start driving as soon as you learn how to.You can get a license with the right connections, better still you don't even need a license to drive in some cities. All you need is a loaded wallet.
2. Driving test ??? Really, who needs that. Just hire an agent and you will get your license in hand without any written or driving exam. He will give both for you or forge both for you. Its a nexus.
3. Book of driving rules. I haven't seen one. Which is why planning on writing one. "Driving for Dummies" . What do you think?
4. You will get fined but not on paper. If you want it on paper they have a lot of big fines for various offences. If you don't want to pay fine, just bribe. Same thing, you will get away with paying less, not having to revoke your license or going to court. For people in India this might sound bizarre that you could have your license taken away or go to court if you break the law !!
So how does driving in India work. It works, there is a homegrown system, once you have been here long enough you get the hang of it. I kind of have.
In India and I have been driving mainly in Pune for the past 1 year which is WORSE than driving in Mumbai. Why ???? In Pune, there are no traffic lights, if there are they do not work. I have been told Punekars think and believe traffic is better managed without traffic lights. Hahaha......it is funny once you get used to it. At a traffic junction, everyone tries to move first nudging, dodging, hitting, few motor bikes,cars, cycles, to the left and right. It's fun......what is the rush anyways ???
There is actually another rule besides IMTKOTR and many more unwritten and unspoken ones.
Rule 1:
MIGHT is RIGHT or SIZE MATTERS or BIGGER is BETTER.
According to this like in human race, the BUS gets to rule the road, then the trucks, tempos, vans (they are a little slower and for some reason less barbaric), the latest breed is the most dangerous SUV's, this is followed by four wheelers and last but don't think they are any weaker, the 2 wheelers including bicycles and the pedestrians.
Pretty much like nature, it is survival of the fittest.
Types of ROAD WARRIORS:
BUSES :
These have the natural advantage of being the biggest, they have no downside of the fear of being damaged and are not driven by owners. In any case it is no Mercedes, so a few scratches make no difference. Buses get to own the road, they drive neither to the left or right, the lead right in the middle. They can move left when there is a bus- stop and merge right into the fastest lane to the right immediately as everyone will make way. Few trail blazers try not to let them in, they succeed sometimes but it's really not worth it.
SUV'S:
These are the newly powerful beast on the road. Unlike other countries where SUV's still follow the same rule as all vehicles. In India, owning an SUV gives you autonomy to drive any how. Great speed, big body and of course the image of being an SUV owner. It's a little like being a leopard than a lion (comparing an SUV to a bus, I guess).So SUV owners, not stereotyping but again observation, these are the nouveau rich, young and restless who think they are superior as they own a superior machine .It's funny how for them whether they are driving on a street, main road or highway speed has to be 80km/hr. Sometimes you wonder with such scarce of driving and parking land and rising cost of gas/petrol these young 20-25 yrs old should be even allowed to even own an SUV. Buy them the scooties we drove while growing up !! Will keep them grounded and sure is more fun to drive.
2 - Wheelers:
Not too complicated. The bigger your car the more respect you will have from Pandus/hawaldars.
(My laptop is asking to add to dictionary !!). You can double park and fewer people will honk or ask you to move.
Better still ask your driver to remain seated while you enjoy the cup of coffee or ice-cream outside your favorite food joint. He knows how to handle those silly drivers thinking the second lane is for driving as well.
Rickshaws/Taxis/Motorbikes:
These are the most fun segment. Like when you play a video game and think you beat the monster and then you are invaded by these small mice like or bug like thingies appearing out of nowhere. They surround you, stop right in front of you, slow you down, race you from both left and right and sometimes really appear out of nowhere !!! Without any warning, without any sign. The best thing is you would think they should be scared what if you bang into them, they would get killed.
No way , these are brave warriors. They can speed with you in the fastest lane and don't underestimate the under- dog. He is a crusader determined to succeed until his sheer horsepower lets him down.
Pedestrians:
Poor pedestrians. They have the right of way. Meaning : They come first when crossing the street. All vehicles are supposed to yield to let them pass. So, in India there are 2 types of pedestrians.
Type 1 : The meek ones.
These are always worried that they will come under some car, bus and are standing on the side streets till either are saved by a traffic light. In Pune Type 1 is extinct as there are no traffic lights. These usually do get hit in their lifetimes by a 2 wheeler, even bicycle, cars, buses. Elderly, handicapped, small children all come under this type. There is truly no hope for them as no pedestrian crossing will ever help them. If a vehicle sees them trying to cross, they will race then slow down to dissuade them from crossing.
Type 2 : The bold ones.
These belong to the IMTKOTW breed. They cross anywhere, anytime, anyhow. So if you are a driver they will seem like people wanting to commit suicide under your car. They can see you coming at 70/80 and still choose to slow you down. Some are football players dodging the cars on the field.
Kids crossing in America Kids crossing in India
Rule 2:
This one is Amitabh's famous quote : "Hum jahan khade ho jate hain, line wahi se shuru hoti hain".
The line starts from where I stand. (You all know it in Hindi, if you don't you have been living under a rock !!)
Meaning : The lane is where my car is driving. In other countries around the world there are designated lanes that you have to follow and speed limits.
In India, the only lane that counts is the lane you create while driving. You can drive at any speed in any lane. You can overtake/pass anyone from any side.
Rule 3:
Only look and think forward.
You can stop anytime, anywhere, slow down, ramp up. It's all OK. After all you had to answer that important call, or you were not sure regarding the address where you need to be, or you missed that U-turn you had to take. Just brake and everyone else will figure what to do. What if someone slams into you. Might happen, part of life. That should not deter you from living your life as you like.
As a matter of fact, my driving teacher told me never to look at the rear view mirror. Just focus on the road ahead and where you want to go. The guy behind will worry about himself. Even funnier, MANY vehicles in Pune have taken off their rear view mirrors or folded them. It is a DISTRACTION!!
Rule 4:
Stop/Stand where you wish to. It is a democratic country. You will hear this quite often "Tere baap ka raasta hain kya? Nahin, to kya tere baap ka hain??".
You will find people on motorbikes/rickshaws/taxis or college kids/aunties/maids chatting in the middle of a street (this is especially true for small lanes, society entrances, parking spots) .It is more fun standing in the MIDDLE of the road than on the side. I mean come on, you are not INVISIBLE. Drivers can slow down, stop, honk and then we will move. Again, just chill !!
Double parking is not a crime. After all consider the population of cars in India and the land available. Of course, there is no parking space. Think about NY, where even with all the parking garages and paid parking, it is such a huge crisis.
India's answer to this problem is quite simple, park where you can. Squeeze into that spot anyhow, don't worry about how you will get out, how someone else will get out.
Rule 5:
Save your life. This is the golden rule to adopt.
Whatever you do and whichever vehicle you own or not, please be CAREFUL. Whether you are at fault or not, it is very easy to get into an accident in India. On a serious note, there are life long repercussions that are unimaginable. So while we enjoy a few laughs, driving is a privilege not a right , do it responsibly. Don't be always honking, always speeding, always thinking about you first.Please follow rules and enjoy the ride/drive.
It all works out in the end, a few dents, scratches, abuses make life interesting. Believe me I did it everyday ( I mean the abuses, I was like this crazy woman pulling her window down and yelling at everyone on and off the road). I use to share my experiences with my poor kids who by now know at least how one should be driving and how they will have to drive if they live in India !!
One time I told a white collared gentleman how he cannot double park and there was ample parking a few feet away. He told me to mind my own business. His wife was shopping and he was waiting for her to return so I should not bother him. Yes, I did bother him,went behind his car and kept honking till he moved !!
Another time, I was trapped in between two cars parked to my side and a double parked car behind me. I found out whose car it was and the lady instead of moving her car requested me to wait till she buys something else in 2 minutes. That took 10 minutes and I would have been rude to ask her to move. I was rude and told her not cause inconvenience to others for her convenience.
These kind of experiences are not meant for the faint hearted or emotional people. They would either leave the country or stop driving.
So you must be thinking by now how about traffic police. They are there, some are honest, some dishonest. But how many people can they stop and how many places can they be. So they do what suits them best. Enforce the law and make money while doing it !!
I can go on writing, actually a book would be good with pictures and cartoons and images.
But I do not do this for a living. At least not yet !! Writing is my way to reach out, to share and maybe create some awareness.
Really driving in India can be therapeutic as it teaches you to be calm, patient,tolerant and adjusting.
Not al drivers are bad, not all people are bad. However for the majority part, this is India.
It is changing slowly but surely. However it is a mix of lack of education, indiscipline, arrogance, ignorance, frustration, disparity which is responsible for this attitude. So will take a long long time.
Like many other experiences I will share on this blog, Life in India teaches you a lot of things.
No doubt people here are so religious. Only God can save them !!
I love my India but I wish I could be proud of it. Aache din aayenge !!!!
Like FB where you only see pretty selfies,nice family pics and profound thoughts and like Yash Chopra movies that makes more enjoyable watching.....this blog will make more enjoyable reading.
So the basic Funda (fundamental....Mumbai lingo plz) is I AM THE KING OF THE ROAD !!!
Whether you are a pedestrian, a two - wheeler rider, four - wheeler, bus/ truck driver or whatever Gen next is coming up with, if this is your mantra, you are good. I mean safe. DO NOT try to be the boring rule abiding, law following civil driver as there are no rules in driving. At least not in India. The only rule is IMTKOTR (see title).
Lets start from the very beginning....... the right way or guidelines in every country to drive are as follows
1. a permissible age to drive.
2. a legit driving license acquired by passing a legit driving test.
3. a book of driving rules to follow.
4. fines for offense committed.
This makes driving a disciplined and managed activity.
In India none of this applies.
1. As long as you do not get caught, you can start driving as soon as you learn how to.You can get a license with the right connections, better still you don't even need a license to drive in some cities. All you need is a loaded wallet.
2. Driving test ??? Really, who needs that. Just hire an agent and you will get your license in hand without any written or driving exam. He will give both for you or forge both for you. Its a nexus.
3. Book of driving rules. I haven't seen one. Which is why planning on writing one. "Driving for Dummies" . What do you think?
4. You will get fined but not on paper. If you want it on paper they have a lot of big fines for various offences. If you don't want to pay fine, just bribe. Same thing, you will get away with paying less, not having to revoke your license or going to court. For people in India this might sound bizarre that you could have your license taken away or go to court if you break the law !!
So how does driving in India work. It works, there is a homegrown system, once you have been here long enough you get the hang of it. I kind of have.
In India and I have been driving mainly in Pune for the past 1 year which is WORSE than driving in Mumbai. Why ???? In Pune, there are no traffic lights, if there are they do not work. I have been told Punekars think and believe traffic is better managed without traffic lights. Hahaha......it is funny once you get used to it. At a traffic junction, everyone tries to move first nudging, dodging, hitting, few motor bikes,cars, cycles, to the left and right. It's fun......what is the rush anyways ???
There is actually another rule besides IMTKOTR and many more unwritten and unspoken ones.
Rule 1:
MIGHT is RIGHT or SIZE MATTERS or BIGGER is BETTER.
According to this like in human race, the BUS gets to rule the road, then the trucks, tempos, vans (they are a little slower and for some reason less barbaric), the latest breed is the most dangerous SUV's, this is followed by four wheelers and last but don't think they are any weaker, the 2 wheelers including bicycles and the pedestrians.
Pretty much like nature, it is survival of the fittest.
Types of ROAD WARRIORS:
BUSES :
These have the natural advantage of being the biggest, they have no downside of the fear of being damaged and are not driven by owners. In any case it is no Mercedes, so a few scratches make no difference. Buses get to own the road, they drive neither to the left or right, the lead right in the middle. They can move left when there is a bus- stop and merge right into the fastest lane to the right immediately as everyone will make way. Few trail blazers try not to let them in, they succeed sometimes but it's really not worth it.
SUV'S:
These are the newly powerful beast on the road. Unlike other countries where SUV's still follow the same rule as all vehicles. In India, owning an SUV gives you autonomy to drive any how. Great speed, big body and of course the image of being an SUV owner. It's a little like being a leopard than a lion (comparing an SUV to a bus, I guess).So SUV owners, not stereotyping but again observation, these are the nouveau rich, young and restless who think they are superior as they own a superior machine .It's funny how for them whether they are driving on a street, main road or highway speed has to be 80km/hr. Sometimes you wonder with such scarce of driving and parking land and rising cost of gas/petrol these young 20-25 yrs old should be even allowed to even own an SUV. Buy them the scooties we drove while growing up !! Will keep them grounded and sure is more fun to drive.
2 - Wheelers:
Not too complicated. The bigger your car the more respect you will have from Pandus/hawaldars.
(My laptop is asking to add to dictionary !!). You can double park and fewer people will honk or ask you to move.
Better still ask your driver to remain seated while you enjoy the cup of coffee or ice-cream outside your favorite food joint. He knows how to handle those silly drivers thinking the second lane is for driving as well.
Rickshaws/Taxis/Motorbikes:
These are the most fun segment. Like when you play a video game and think you beat the monster and then you are invaded by these small mice like or bug like thingies appearing out of nowhere. They surround you, stop right in front of you, slow you down, race you from both left and right and sometimes really appear out of nowhere !!! Without any warning, without any sign. The best thing is you would think they should be scared what if you bang into them, they would get killed.
No way , these are brave warriors. They can speed with you in the fastest lane and don't underestimate the under- dog. He is a crusader determined to succeed until his sheer horsepower lets him down.
Poor pedestrians. They have the right of way. Meaning : They come first when crossing the street. All vehicles are supposed to yield to let them pass. So, in India there are 2 types of pedestrians.
Type 1 : The meek ones.
These are always worried that they will come under some car, bus and are standing on the side streets till either are saved by a traffic light. In Pune Type 1 is extinct as there are no traffic lights. These usually do get hit in their lifetimes by a 2 wheeler, even bicycle, cars, buses. Elderly, handicapped, small children all come under this type. There is truly no hope for them as no pedestrian crossing will ever help them. If a vehicle sees them trying to cross, they will race then slow down to dissuade them from crossing.
Type 2 : The bold ones.
These belong to the IMTKOTW breed. They cross anywhere, anytime, anyhow. So if you are a driver they will seem like people wanting to commit suicide under your car. They can see you coming at 70/80 and still choose to slow you down. Some are football players dodging the cars on the field.
Kids crossing in America Kids crossing in India
Rule 2:
This one is Amitabh's famous quote : "Hum jahan khade ho jate hain, line wahi se shuru hoti hain".
The line starts from where I stand. (You all know it in Hindi, if you don't you have been living under a rock !!)
Meaning : The lane is where my car is driving. In other countries around the world there are designated lanes that you have to follow and speed limits.
In India, the only lane that counts is the lane you create while driving. You can drive at any speed in any lane. You can overtake/pass anyone from any side.
Rule 3:
Only look and think forward.
You can stop anytime, anywhere, slow down, ramp up. It's all OK. After all you had to answer that important call, or you were not sure regarding the address where you need to be, or you missed that U-turn you had to take. Just brake and everyone else will figure what to do. What if someone slams into you. Might happen, part of life. That should not deter you from living your life as you like.
As a matter of fact, my driving teacher told me never to look at the rear view mirror. Just focus on the road ahead and where you want to go. The guy behind will worry about himself. Even funnier, MANY vehicles in Pune have taken off their rear view mirrors or folded them. It is a DISTRACTION!!
Rule 4:
Stop/Stand where you wish to. It is a democratic country. You will hear this quite often "Tere baap ka raasta hain kya? Nahin, to kya tere baap ka hain??".
You will find people on motorbikes/rickshaws/taxis or college kids/aunties/maids chatting in the middle of a street (this is especially true for small lanes, society entrances, parking spots) .It is more fun standing in the MIDDLE of the road than on the side. I mean come on, you are not INVISIBLE. Drivers can slow down, stop, honk and then we will move. Again, just chill !!
Double parking is not a crime. After all consider the population of cars in India and the land available. Of course, there is no parking space. Think about NY, where even with all the parking garages and paid parking, it is such a huge crisis.
India's answer to this problem is quite simple, park where you can. Squeeze into that spot anyhow, don't worry about how you will get out, how someone else will get out.
Rule 5:
Save your life. This is the golden rule to adopt.
Whatever you do and whichever vehicle you own or not, please be CAREFUL. Whether you are at fault or not, it is very easy to get into an accident in India. On a serious note, there are life long repercussions that are unimaginable. So while we enjoy a few laughs, driving is a privilege not a right , do it responsibly. Don't be always honking, always speeding, always thinking about you first.Please follow rules and enjoy the ride/drive.
It all works out in the end, a few dents, scratches, abuses make life interesting. Believe me I did it everyday ( I mean the abuses, I was like this crazy woman pulling her window down and yelling at everyone on and off the road). I use to share my experiences with my poor kids who by now know at least how one should be driving and how they will have to drive if they live in India !!
One time I told a white collared gentleman how he cannot double park and there was ample parking a few feet away. He told me to mind my own business. His wife was shopping and he was waiting for her to return so I should not bother him. Yes, I did bother him,went behind his car and kept honking till he moved !!
Another time, I was trapped in between two cars parked to my side and a double parked car behind me. I found out whose car it was and the lady instead of moving her car requested me to wait till she buys something else in 2 minutes. That took 10 minutes and I would have been rude to ask her to move. I was rude and told her not cause inconvenience to others for her convenience.
These kind of experiences are not meant for the faint hearted or emotional people. They would either leave the country or stop driving.
So you must be thinking by now how about traffic police. They are there, some are honest, some dishonest. But how many people can they stop and how many places can they be. So they do what suits them best. Enforce the law and make money while doing it !!
I can go on writing, actually a book would be good with pictures and cartoons and images.
But I do not do this for a living. At least not yet !! Writing is my way to reach out, to share and maybe create some awareness.
Really driving in India can be therapeutic as it teaches you to be calm, patient,tolerant and adjusting.
Not al drivers are bad, not all people are bad. However for the majority part, this is India.
It is changing slowly but surely. However it is a mix of lack of education, indiscipline, arrogance, ignorance, frustration, disparity which is responsible for this attitude. So will take a long long time.
Like many other experiences I will share on this blog, Life in India teaches you a lot of things.
No doubt people here are so religious. Only God can save them !!
I love my India but I wish I could be proud of it. Aache din aayenge !!!!
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